She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
nutella sex= disaster
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
