he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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