I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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