i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
