...so i touched it.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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