You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Two words: blizzard sex
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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