we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize