Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
