Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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