i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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