At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
