umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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