She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
