It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
When are your genitals available?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
