Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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