How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
