R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
