so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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