lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
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now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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