I love black thongs
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
