We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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