the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
