you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
