Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
