sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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