the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
