my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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