Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
They took my balls.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
