I must be too annoying 4 u.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
