Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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