adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
its liver damage thursday
Two words: nipple clamps
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