it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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