Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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