my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
