is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
