You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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