I bet he comes in French.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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