He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
