is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
