Moan for me like Helen Keller
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
