Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize