my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i barfeds in our rink
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
