sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
