So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
