haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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