Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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