You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
