Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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