i just wanna soil my oats bro
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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