Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.