Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
How's your threesome situation going?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
this hospital has no fireball
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.