Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY