I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
