Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
