saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
