I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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