Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize