Will you blow on my dice?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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