never play flip cup with pint glasses
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Text me some of your sweat
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
